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标题: 家庭段子,美女靓图 [打印本页]

作者: center    时间: 2021-8-12 01:02
标题: 家庭段子,美女靓图
1.“你是怎么追到你媳妇的?”

“其实也没有什么特别的技巧,当时我刷朋友圈,看到她说想吃圣代可惜周边都没有麦当劳的时候,我立马就买了给她送去了。”

“所以,重点是投其所好?”

“不是,全靠我的保时捷开的快,你搭公车去圣代早化了。”

哦。。。。。。

2.今天我妈逛街回来:“你看,我买了个大衣。好看不?”

“好看,多钱?”

“2100,你爸要是问,你知道咋回答不?”

“知道,210。”

“你可真是妈的小棉袄。”

晚上父亲回来,也拿回来一大衣,

“猜猜爹给你妈买的大衣多钱?”

“450”

“要是你妈问呢?”

“4500”

“吼吼,你真是爹的皮裤子!”

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3.发微信、短信要注意,和写稿子一样,写好了一定要认真检查,否则会造成无法挽回的后果!

案例一:一美女被提拔,发短信向领导致谢:“我让您操心了,一辈子忘不了您”,结果一激动把“心”字给漏掉了,不巧信息又让领导老婆看见了,后来领导离婚了。

案例二:某君请领导吃饭,领导婉拒,他想回“好的”,却回成了“妈的”,结果他失业时27岁。

案例三:某女给男同事发短信:“你是我们同事中最出色的,跟你在一起很开心”,不细致少打了个“出”字,结果她被永远拉黑了。

案例四:某女秘书给领导写短信,本想写“局长很辛苦,劳累使您脸蛋上有了很多皱纹”,因为粗心少写了“ 脸”字,结果从那以后,她每次见到领导都很尴尬。


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